Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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