You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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