maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
