She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
