i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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