I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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