oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
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I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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