Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
