what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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