I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
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having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
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You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"