$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
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And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
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dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.