apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Bring me that man meat
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.