i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper