positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
