And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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