my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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