Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
