Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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