Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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