you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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