oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
