it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
