i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
are you so shy because you have an std?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
