Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
