he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
