She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Life is so much better after having sex.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
