maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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