Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
