Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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