My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
