I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
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dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
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If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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