He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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