Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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