At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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