so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
