Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
