yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
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