Can Purell be used as lube?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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