The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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