no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
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