lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
