i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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