apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
