I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
