We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You were trust falling into bushes
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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