oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
