Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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