I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
