Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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