Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
