If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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