please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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