Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
