so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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