and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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