question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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