sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
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while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
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he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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