I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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