somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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