He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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