It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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