How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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