i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
