Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
