My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize