I hate your face
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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