"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
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so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
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The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.