My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
What's dad's email?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN