Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(904): View more from Florida

Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out

(1-904): View more from Florida

How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?

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(904): Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out (1-904): How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction? http://tfl.nu/euyr

Replies (8) Good night (1788) Bad night (876)
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(602): View more from Arizona

making cat noises will not fix the situation.

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(602): making cat noises will not fix the situation. http://tfl.nu/m8sq

Replies (6) Good night (3352) Bad night (1104)
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(512): View more from Texas

We need to rekindle our bromance

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(512): We need to rekindle our bromance http://tfl.nu/aprz

Replies (48) Good night (8728) Bad night (1451)
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(248): View more from Michigan

You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week

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(248): You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week http://tfl.nu/vksd

Replies (5) Good night (4509) Bad night (798)
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(757): View more from Virginia

We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.

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(757): We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/rh0l

Replies (5) Good night (2399) Bad night (760)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.

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(703): I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you. http://tfl.nu/0abv

Replies (5) Good night (1959) Bad night (663)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.

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(484): she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard. http://tfl.nu/xcqc

Replies (4) Good night (1877) Bad night (552)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.

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(601): i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this. http://tfl.nu/9qd9

Replies (5) Good night (918) Bad night (1859)
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(312): View more from Illinois

All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.

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(312): All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday. http://tfl.nu/9i7k

Replies (1) Good night (702) Bad night (1105)
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(904): View more from Florida

I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.

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(904): I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really. http://tfl.nu/399x

Replies (4) Good night (1447) Bad night (534)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?

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(717): do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met? http://tfl.nu/fj36

Replies (7) Good night (1169) Bad night (594)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party

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(617): She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party http://tfl.nu/crsc

Replies (5) Good night (1847) Bad night (458)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.

(201): View more from New Jersey

I'm trying to hide in the table.

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(973): You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man. (201): I'm trying to hide in the table. http://tfl.nu/7531

Replies (1) Good night (492) Bad night (366)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"

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(303): Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!" http://tfl.nu/4c9h

Replies (4) Good night (792) Bad night (367)
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(706): View more from Georgia

To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.

(1-706): View more from Georgia

You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.

(706): View more from Georgia

Touche.

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(706): To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid. (1-706): You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man. (706): Touche. http://tfl.nu/xj0m

Replies (4) Good night (1039) Bad night (473)

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