Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.

  (240): View more from Maryland

  What a good friend

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  (301): There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out. (240): What a good friend http://tfl.nu/qs4m
  Replies (6) Good night (1543) Bad night (616)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions

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  (812): So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions http://tfl.nu/7b2z
  Replies (14) Good night (2722) Bad night (861)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic

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  (678): part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic http://tfl.nu/3j2g
  Replies (18) Good night (786) Bad night (3240)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.

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  (+44): He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine. http://tfl.nu/yc2p
  Replies (11) Good night (4651) Bad night (1101)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety

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  (978): I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety http://tfl.nu/5zfx
  Replies (7) Good night (2634) Bad night (1178)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.

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  (281): Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment. http://tfl.nu/djy3
  Replies (3) Good night (1172) Bad night (2666)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers

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  (314): Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers http://tfl.nu/hxbz
  Replies (4) Good night (2567) Bad night (848)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO

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  (303): Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO http://tfl.nu/1w33
  Replies (6) Good night (1691) Bad night (929)
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  (707): View more from California

  She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.

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  (707): She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place. http://tfl.nu/aqji
  Replies (9) Good night (5677) Bad night (1148)
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  (530): View more from California

  She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential

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  (530): She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential http://tfl.nu/2o4m
  Replies (5) Good night (3413) Bad night (690)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.

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  (610): I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels. http://tfl.nu/rc9i
  Replies (9) Good night (971) Bad night (551)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?

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  (604): If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair? http://tfl.nu/cjor
  Replies (7) Good night (670) Bad night (863)
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  (607): View more from New York

  eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.

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  (607): eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest. http://tfl.nu/otqw
  Replies (1) Good night (489) Bad night (745)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.

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  (615): Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car. http://tfl.nu/1hto
  Replies (0) Good night (411) Bad night (436)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING

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  (207): I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING http://tfl.nu/pi9e
  Replies (0) Good night (425) Bad night (147)

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