What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job