Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!

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(734): I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!! http://tfl.nu/dwqd

Replies (6) Good night (651) Bad night (819)
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(602): View more from Arizona

I wish they made sweatshirts for legs

(1-602): View more from Arizona

you mean pants?

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(602): I wish they made sweatshirts for legs (1-602): you mean pants? http://tfl.nu/ceop

Replies (38) Good night (8661) Bad night (835)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry

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(609): I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry http://tfl.nu/vmjm

Replies (10) Good night (813) Bad night (4567)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.

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(484): Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever. http://tfl.nu/sgnv

Replies (9) Good night (4752) Bad night (829)
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(734): View more from Michigan

i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.

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(734): i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up. http://tfl.nu/9mj6

Replies (12) Good night (949) Bad night (3692)
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(573): View more from Missouri

Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?

(636): View more from Missouri

Wtf did you do last night?

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(573): Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much? (636): Wtf did you do last night? http://tfl.nu/0xxc

Replies (12) Good night (1735) Bad night (676)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Goddamn tequila

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(306): I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one (306): Goddamn tequila http://tfl.nu/4ri7

Replies (5) Good night (2100) Bad night (581)
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(928): View more from Arizona

I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.

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(928): I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now. http://tfl.nu/gaaz

Replies (29) Good night (3426) Bad night (624)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay

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(920): if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay http://tfl.nu/6sqm

Replies (3) Good night (876) Bad night (418)
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(540): View more from Virginia

I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.

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(540): I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day. http://tfl.nu/r0vt

Replies (6) Good night (1089) Bad night (356)
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(416): View more from Toronto

She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"

(1-416): View more from Toronto

You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?

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(416): She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?" (1-416): You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right? http://tfl.nu/2p2l

Replies (17) Good night (2637) Bad night (479)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.

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(248): I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body. http://tfl.nu/nnda

Replies (2) Good night (786) Bad night (285)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?

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(717): You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING? http://tfl.nu/nnf3

Replies (3) Good night (682) Bad night (260)
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(607): View more from New York

I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.

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(607): I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs. http://tfl.nu/ntwi

Replies (3) Good night (334) Bad night (335)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.

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(651): Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer. http://tfl.nu/3bgh

Replies (1) Good night (289) Bad night (175)

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