This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
