Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(970): View more from Colorado

I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.

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(970): I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious. http://tfl.nu/cwzo

Replies (21) Good night (794) Bad night (4590)
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(912): View more from Georgia

I swear god or herbie drove my car home

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(912): I swear god or herbie drove my car home http://tfl.nu/eanl

Replies (34) Good night (5113) Bad night (1056)
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(818): View more from California

I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter

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(818): I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter http://tfl.nu/u1op

Replies (24) Good night (7131) Bad night (919)
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(425): View more from Washington

the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.

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(425): the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem. http://tfl.nu/jjmu

Replies (45) Good night (2666) Bad night (7224)
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(516): View more from New York

I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done

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(516): I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done http://tfl.nu/fwxa

Replies (15) Good night (3817) Bad night (2898)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent

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(608): I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent http://tfl.nu/fgks

Replies (24) Good night (4160) Bad night (912)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.

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(203): Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned. http://tfl.nu/8wo4

Replies (5) Good night (3246) Bad night (875)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.

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(770): Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway. http://tfl.nu/stcx

Replies (20) Good night (2782) Bad night (1007)
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(765): View more from Indiana

I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.

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(765): I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in. http://tfl.nu/2iri

Replies (9) Good night (2461) Bad night (782)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce

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(570): I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce http://tfl.nu/7uec

Replies (2) Good night (976) Bad night (610)
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(705): View more from Ontario

Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?

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(705): Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right? http://tfl.nu/d74x

Replies (23) Good night (1230) Bad night (935)
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(443): View more from Maryland

They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.

(1-410): View more from Maryland

Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here

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(443): They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing. (1-410): Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here http://tfl.nu/0wca

Replies (7) Good night (1373) Bad night (434)
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(804): View more from Virginia

Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?

(1-804): View more from Virginia

Do you have any forwarding contact info?

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(804): Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface? (1-804): Do you have any forwarding contact info? http://tfl.nu/ibaz

Replies (3) Good night (811) Bad night (294)
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(586): View more from Michigan

Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?

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(586): Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text? http://tfl.nu/2ntm

Replies (3) Good night (682) Bad night (370)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover

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(608): I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover http://tfl.nu/qezu

Replies (2) Good night (565) Bad night (372)

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