hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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