Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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