So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
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I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
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I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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