So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
how does that bad decision feel?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
