she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
